I just want to buy a car

Before this rant gets out of hand, I should preface it with the fact that I don't actually need a car. I have a work vehicle, which services my commute and I live in suburban Dublin, so there is nowhere out of reach by walking, cycling, or, as terrible as it may be, public transport.

If you, for some unbeknownst reason, are reading this, like me, you are probably a car enthusiast. Therefore, custodianship of a motor vehicle is not a matter of need, it's a matter of want; and my goodness, is the want palpable in me right now.

It's been almost a year since I last owned a car of my own. a 2004 MK1 Ford Focus. Nothing fancy, just a 1.4 LX hatch, with a six figure mileage. It was €600, had near as dammit, a year's NCT and, well, it was a MK1 Focus, so it was absolutely splendid to drive. However, it being the 1.4, it was lacking in power, which only became worse when it started running on 3 cylinders. I did try some DIY maintenance, but my skill level is very limited, so I made some inquiries with those of greater knowledge and when I started getting quotes back for repairs that weren't far off the purchase price, I started contemplating other avenues.

My late father was a firefighter and when I saw an appeal from Dublin Fire Brigade seeking cars for recruits to learn accident-emergency procedures on, I felt it was a good final chapter for the Focus. Some will bemoan the destruction of a car that could have been salvaged, but (A) it was a good cause; and (B) I got a year's worth of driving out of it and it wasn't exactly special enough to start pumping money into.

The only negative that I saw was, it left me car-less. No, problem, I have a few quid in my savings account, I'll wander to the classifieds and get something new. Or so I thought. Boy-howdy, was I wrong. Things had changed since I bought my €600 shit-box.

Now admittedly, my budget is not endless. I was playing with about five grand. Also, to hit that max budget, it would have to be something relatively special and appealing. I'm also a lover of the sub-€1000 beater. So when I went browsing, I set the parameters at: Min. Price €100, Max Price €5500 (there's always wiggle room) and Gearbox: manual, because I still very much insist on stirring my own cogs.

€600, forget about it

The first issue became glaringly obvious pretty quickly. The sub-grand beater was a thing of the past. In my 12-months of ownership of the Focus, we had come out of lockdown and there was now a slew of people who had been working from home, looking for cars. On top of that, the pandemic had caused some serious global supply chain issues, most notably, the well documented chip-shortage. This made supply of new cars turn to a drip-feed and there was now another influx of buyers rushing the used market.

Add in, what is still a seemingly endless delay for NCT tests, anything with a Yellow/Green cert in the window, was now a sought after commodity. All of these factors has caused the price of used cars to become incredibly over inflated. Want a €600 Ford Focus, forget it, that's now a two grand car.

Then what about the other end of my budget? Well you're just traipsing through a sea of overpriced mundanity, white-goods, with high-odometer readings and the character of wallpaper paste. Again, a by-product of the strange times we live in, post-pandemic.

Then you have sellers, private and dealers alike, who are more than aware it's a seller's market. So even though a vehicle might not be worth anything like the asking price they're looking for, they've done their homework and realised "Ha, find something cheaper!!"

Yuck

This has also led to a rise of seller entitlement. "I KNOW WHAT I HAVE", "PRICE IS FIRM!", "SOLD AS SEEN". If the passive aggressiveness of an ad's description hasn't put you off and you then decide to ring and possibly negotiate, good luck, there's no backing down, because they know there's going to be someone else in more desperate needs, who will bend over.

Now, of course, I could borrow to up the budget, but I don't want too and shouldn't have to.

Firstly, pushing the boat out really doesn't open you up to a market of hidden gems. The cars may be newer and/or have slightly less kilometers on the clock, but they're still soulless mediocrity and over-valued. Secondly, you have to get well into five figures now before anything of any true enthusiast appeal rears it's head.

Thirdly, when a car purchase is a frivolity rather than a necessity, I can't abide to getting into unnecessary debt. Fuck being beholden to a financial institution when you don't need to be. Plus, outstanding debt on a car takes away a lot of the joy of ownership, for me at least. I could never shake the fact that it's not actually mine. Plus if it exploded or more likely, I bent it beyond repair, while still having to repay a loan on it's non-existence, well that just sounds downright depressing.

Fuck off

Speaking of depressing, let's move on to insurance. It will be of no surprise to anyone who resides in Ireland, that the insurance industry is an absolute farce. Claims are made by these privately-run organisations that they are going to reduce premiums and the government also claim they're going to enforce more stringent regulation, but none of this is enacted in reality. That's if you can even get a quote at all. When I do manage to find something that I might contemplate purchasing, I'm continuously coming up against insurance road-blocks. Just this weekend, I saw a 2004, diesel, Octavia estate, with a nice-spec, full year's NCT and an asking price of just €1950. I know it's not exactly a Lancia Aurelia, but as a hack to tide me over until reality (hopefully) returns, I gave it serious consideration.

That was until I tried getting an insurance quote on it; and no one would entertain me. A man, in his 30s, with 18-years driving experience, four-years no-claims (I lived abroad for awhile) can't get quoted on a diesel estate car?!?

When I inquire as to why, I never get a definitive answer, just the "it could be any of several factors...blah, blah blah".

Whilst getting an outrageously priced quote is bad, at least you have an idea where you stand, but to not get a quote at all, well that's just down right infuriating. It's like a grocery-shop refusing to sell you a loaf of bread, because you might eat it after it goes mouldy, get sick and then make a claim against them.

I know I'm making more of this than is necessary and obviously it's not impossible, but the bar has been raised and set very high. It should be something that is relatively straightforward, but has become painfully and increasingly more difficult. So, if anyone would like to donate me their e39 BMW and add me to their insurance policy, my e-mail address is johnq92486@gmail,com Get in touch and I'll forward you all my relevant information. Thanks.